Death to false yacht rock!

A way to get rid of it-Get rid of those Yachters! Just try to get rid of 'em!

 

I've NEVER been on a yacht, and love this music. I've lived in the inner city most of my life, so I hate the term yacht rock; a term which I believe was bequeathed by the loathsome hipsters.

 

Along with the dreaded "Prog Rock" my two most HATED Phrases!

 

Almost everything on that album was "darn catchy." As was their debut Stiff single "Suffice to Say," which requested help, not ELP. ("An SOS from Yachts…")

Not to mention:

"I wouldn't climb any mountain for you
Ford any stream, that's a daft thing to do
Cause I'm cynical, cynical, cynical
Through and through"​

Ending with tape manipulation morphing "Love You" into "Litterbug."

Put that on your bloated catamaran!

 

Hipsters invented the term Prog Rock???!!! Ok then...

 

Never heard of Yacht Rock before! You learn something new every day!

If I was to guess what 'Yacht Rock' was I'd immediately think of Men at Work..... But reading through this thread, I would be obviously wrong!

 

Hipsters invented beards, too.

 

That was long, long before prog rock. Probably around the time of trog rocks.

 

Maybe not prog rock; but I feel that they've had a hand in the term Kraut-rock.

 

Ocean liner rock. That image is of France's Normandie.

 

I gotta think Jay Ferguson is gold standard of yacht rock, for look, sound and subject matter.

Notice he doesn't have a greatest hits comp out to jump the Yacht Rock trend. Last time I looked he was still offering only the original LPs on CD. That's credibility.

 

Damn!!! Forgot about that one. "Yachtless = The state of having no yacht."

Ain't no ELP on THAT boat!

 

+1 Didn't know it was an actual term until a few posts into this thread.

 

Great minds, Colin

 

LOVE what people call yacht rock. I always kind of chuckle when other music snobs (because I admit I am one, too) rip on the yacht rock stuff I like because it has nice, shiny production values, a melody that can actually get stuck in your head, and backup singers doing harmony. GOD FORBID MUSIC BE MUSIC AND NOT JUST WEIRD NOISE!!

Okay, I like Soft Machine, Can and Hatfield & The North, too, but still.

 

Can I nominate these guys as the bandwagon jumping poseurs? False and fake to the extreme!

 

A fine example of troo atmospheric yacht rock:

Peter Allen - I Could Have Been A Sailor (1979)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOQKxeoLj2c

 

Loggins and Messina were Varg and Euronimus of yacht rock!

 

Liz Phair's "pop" album is false yacht rock, but of course all Liz Phair albums suck anyway.

Parts of Red Hot Chili Peppers' "By the Way" get dangerously close to yacht rock, and I like it anyway. It works for them.

 

Nope. Asia isn't close. Way too much stiff British drumming to be yacht rock. John Wetton's voice gets them close, however.

 

Bruce Springsteen's "Tunnel of Love," "Lucky Town," and "Human Touch" are all false yacht rock . . . and bad albums, too.

 

But they tried hard and to jump on the bandwagon and commercially succeeded hence the nomination for the "false yacht rock".

 

They did a great sunny californian ballad (can't remember it's titles) with something about the sun in the chorus which was a perfect example of how yacht rock could sound in the modern age.

 

True norwegian black metal vs True californian yacht rock

Californian yacht rock is much more true simply because it's a much more demanding life-style. To be a true black metal fan all you need is long unwashed hair, a can of corpse paint, a few spikes and an axe. To be a true yacht rock fan you obviously need a beard, a hairy chest, a yacht, an edless supply of coke and a hot blonde.

Californian yacht rock is much more expencive to record - in true norwegian black metal you can spend 100 kronen on entire album and if you don't even have that hundred you can always chop the producer with an axe and claim that the sound was not raw enough. In true californian yacht rock you need to spend at least $1 000 000 on a record with 20 % spent on perfect smooth production and top West Coast session players (Russ Kunkel on drums is mandatory) and rest 80 percent on coke to make it even more smooth.

Both genres need to be atmospheric - in true norwegian black metal all you need is to create an illusion of freezing to death in some remote polar forest accompanied by a couple bears and the entire pantheon of nordistic pagan gods. In true yacht rock you must feel like sailing away into Malibu sunset with a busty blonde as soon as you close your eyes.

In black metal you swear by Venom as the True Godfathers (who never played any black metal though), in yacht rock it's basically the same with the Beach Boys.

In black metal you must die like Mayhem's Dead (blow your brains out in the name of Satan) to be really trOO. In yacht rock Dennis Wilson-style death is a must.

When you die as a trOO black metaller you are carried by valkries to Valhalla. When you die as a trOO yacht rocker you are carried by Malibu life-guards to Hugh Hefner's mansion.

And basically - in black metal your icon is the Belzebub, in yacht rock it's the boobs!