Re-released music hits for an aging society

[Steve Hoffman]

From our buddy Mark Jackson:

Subject: Re-released music hits for an aging society

For all of you who are feeling a little older ( YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) and
missing those great old tunes, there is good news. Some of your old
favorites have re-released their great hits with new lyrics to accommodate
their aging audience.
Some examples:

Paul Simon--"Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver"
Carly Simon--"You're So Varicose Vein"
The Bee Gees--"How Can You Mend a Broken Hip"
Roberta Flack--"The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face"
Johnny Nash--"I Can't See Clearly Now"
The Temptations--"Papa Got a Kidney Stone"
Nancy Sinatra--"These Boots Give Me Arthritis"
ABBA--"Denture Queen"
Leo Sayer--"You Make Me Feel Like Napping"
Commodores--"Once, Twice, Three Trips to the Bathroom"
Procol Harem--"A Whiter Shade of Hair"
The Beatles--"I Get By with a Little Help From Depends"
Steely Dan--"Rikki Don't Lose Your Car Keys"
Herman's Hermits--"Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Walker"
The Rolling Stones--"You Can't Always Pee When You Want"
Credence Clearwater Revival--"Bad Prune Rising"
Marvin Gaye--I Heard It Through the Grape Nuts"
The Who--"Talkin' 'Bout My Medication"
The Troggs--"Bald Thing"
:)

[mcow1]

LOL:D

[Gary]

Why is this list in such small print? :confused: Where's the spectacles?:confused:

[Bob Lovely]

All,

A few more on the 2 disc set that I recently received from AARP (I am 51):

Menopause Blues--Eddie Cochran
Retirement Home Rock--Elvis
Kisses Sweeter than Geritol--Jimmie Rodgers
Slowdown, A Lot--Larry Williams
Save The Last Wheelchair For Me--Drifters
Almost Old--Chuck Berry
Grey Gang--Sam Cooke
60 Candles--Crests
What A Difference A Lifetime Makes--Dinah Washington
A Retired Person In Love--Dion & the Belmonts
Blue Haired Angel--Roy Orbison

I guess I just got the expanded version!

Bob

:D

[Sckott]

I refuse to be lame, old and slow. When I'm 80, I'll be in good shape and STILL drive 75.

What will happen by then, kids on their hoverboards will be going 90 while I'm trying to get out of the way!

[Claviusb]

Originally posted by Sckott
I refuse to be lame, old and slow. When I'm 80, I'll be in good shape and STILL drive 75.

What will happen by then, kids on their hoverboards will be going 90 while I'm trying to get out of the way!

I came up with this theory a long time ago that my friends love (I know, it's amazing that I came up with a theory, and that I have friends): to figure out the age of the old person driving in front of you, take their speed and subtract from 100.

[Dave]

And of course we can't forget...

Queen: A Night At The Rest Home
Eric Clapton: Oldhand
April Wine: Wanna Drop
Steely Dan: Oucho
The Carpenters: A Song For Flu
John Lennon: Mind's Lame
Paul McCartney: Band With The Runs (Jet)
:D

[Tullman]

Simon and Garfunkel--A Bridge Over Troubled Gums.

[kda]

Beatles -- Do you still love me now that I'm 64?

[Andrew]

Please Steve, don't give the ad execs any ideas!:rolleyes:

[Jimbo]

Born to be Mild--Steppenwolf
Hey! You! Get Off My Lawn!--Rolling Stones
I Don't Get Around--Beach Boys
I'm 81--Alice Cooper
Viagra-cadabra--Steve Miller
Long Thick Glasses--Leo Sayer
More Than a Touch of Grey--Grateful Dead
Adam Raised a Cane--Bruce Springsteen
Have a Scar--Pink Floyd
I Can't Drive 25--Sammy Hagar
Can't Find My Way Home--Blind Faith

[Bob Lovely]

Originally posted by Jimbo
Born to be Mild--Steppenwolf
Hey! You! Get Off My Lawn!--Rolling Stones
I Don't Get Around--Beach Boys
I'm 81--Alice Cooper
Viagra-cadabra--Steve Miller
Long Thick Glasses--Leo Sayer
More Than a Touch of Grey--Greatful Dead
Adam Raised a Cane--Bruce Springsteen
Have a Scar--Pink Floyd
I Can't Drive 25--Sammy Hagar
Can't Find My Way Home--Blind Faith

Jimbo,

Great additions, especially the Steve Miller re-release. I assume that is the 12" version?

Bob :D

[Steve Hoffman]

Great titles.

Bridge Over Troubled Gums. Good one Tulldude!

Can't Find My Way Home-Blind Faith? Yeah, that's the only track that won't have to be redone.

[Jefhart]

This stuff is hysterical.

Stuff, what stuff, who said anything about any stuff, what are you talking about?

Where's my medication?

Jeff (Like a Hurry Cane)

[mcow1]

Originally posted by kda
Beatles -- Do you still love me now that I'm 64?

When I Was 64

[Mark Jackson]

You guys are crackin' me up!

I just thought of another........

Carole King - "You've got depends"

[mcow1]

One more
Count 5 - Sciatic Reaction

[Dave]

And lest we forget....

Edison Lighthouse: Nothing Goes (Where My Hair Used To Grow}
Chris te: Yellow Liver
Brewer & Shipley: One Lung Over The Line
Richie Havens: Here Comes The Runs
Tommy James: Draggin' Behind
Bullet: White Thighs, Blind Eyes
Argent: Prop Your Head up
Sailcat: Wheelchair Moma
Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show: Cover Of The Old And Stoned
Redbone: Come And Get Your Drugs
First Class: Beach Geezer
Reunion: Life Is A Rock (But The Nurse Had To Turn Me)
Ten Years After: I'd Love To Change My Shorts
Elvin Bishop: Fooled Around And Broke My Hip
Exile: Gum You All Over
Walter Egan: Geritol And Wheels
The Knack: My Glaucoma
The Kiki Dee Band: I've Got The I.V. In Me
Chuck Mangione: Heals So Good
The Sweet: ***** I need Oxygen
:D ;)

[petzi]

Originally posted by Sckott
I refuse to be lame, old and slow. When I'm 80, I'll be in good shape and STILL drive 75.

What will happen by then, kids on their hoverboards will be going 90 while I'm trying to get out of the way!

*YAWN*
I drive 120+ mph regularly.
:D

[Steve Hoffman]

Yeah, it's legal, I know.

But here, if that was allowed, there would be chaos. No one knows how to drive that fast.

When I was in Germany, we hauled *** on the Autobaun. I must admit I was nervous. :rolleyes:

[Mark Jackson]

I drive about 225 yards average. My short game needs work. DOUGH!!

Don Mclean - "Hairy Hairy nose"
MC Hammer - "I can't chew this"

[petzi]

Originally posted by Steve Hoffman
Yeah, it's legal, I know.

But here, if that was allowed, there would be chaos. No one knows how to drive that fast.

When I was in Germany, we hauled *** on the Autobaun. I must admit I was nervous. :rolleyes:

I guess you didn´t drive yourself. Don´t do that unless you are experienced. And your tires must be specified for this, too. Foreigners: Don´t come to Germany to speed on the Autobahn, it´s dangerous. For me and for you.

If I´m not mistaken, practically every car that can drive is allowed on US roads. Not so in Germany...

[Mark Jackson]

I always wondered what it would be likr to drive on the Autobaun.
Up here in Seattle people rarely break 55.

[petzi]

Originally posted by Mark Jackson
I always wondered what it would be likr to drive on the Autobaun.
Up here in Seattle people rarely break 55.

You´ll get used to it. You won´t find it very exciting after a while. Don´t do it if you are excited. You need to be in control.

I can normally maintain an average speed of 75 - 80 mph, that means sometimes I drive a lot faster than this to compensate for the times where I pass a construction area, dense traffic etc.

But there have actually been cases where I could maintain 120 mph for two hours or so. Of course not on the main routes during the rush hour...

The biggest problem here are the trucks. They will use the right lane, driving at about 55 mph. Then there will be people passing those trucks, and they will choose to drive at maybe 75 - 80. And then you are screwed coming in fast from behind, unless there is a third lane. But it gets really annoying when a truck passes a truck...

If traffic permits, I drive at 110 - 120. My car won´t go much faster than 125 and there is a proverb that you shouldn´t drive faster than your guardian angel can fly...

[Dave]

Petzi,

So what autos don't they allow on the Autobahn?